he wants to bone in the snuggie
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
