went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize