But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize