Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize