last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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