She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
