You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize