Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I enjoy the company of your penis
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
