her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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