Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
