covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So much Jack, so little girl.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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