Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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