my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
