Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
