I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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