Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
