last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Who died my cat blue again?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
