there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
