Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
