I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
