Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
