i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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