Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize