If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
