when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
