smell my finger.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
