Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
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