new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
