Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
