meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
