idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
worst night to have a conscience
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
