a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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