there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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