New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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