Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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