Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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