I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
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