Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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