Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
