Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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