everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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