she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This beer is not sobering me up at all
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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