Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
