Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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