he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
