He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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