I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
