These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
