WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
