It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
