I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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