I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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